It’s Fine

I know that my previous post was a celebratory one, but I haven’t been doing great mentally the past couple days.  I’ve touched on this before and at some point I’ll do a deeper dive on things as well, but there are times when I simply don’t want to continue with the blog.  It’s always temporary and directly related to my mood of the day rather than any actual burnout.

Right now, the only reason I’m typing this at all is in an attempt to not feel like I’m a completely worthless waste of space, because the doing nothing this weekend becomes a spiral. That’s also how I know I don’t really want to quit the blog.  My mood and mental state is perpetuated by doing nothing, and so if I don’t have the blog, I have less to do.  Again, something I’ll go into more in the future. Right now I just want to force myself to do something and try to reiterate internally that things are actually fine.

Never Peel

I’m certainly not the Finest I’ve ever been. And no, peeling won’t change that. Never peel.

Got an aura around him

Superficial changes really don’t do anything to help.  I’ve learned that after losing weight as a result of my gall bladder issues.

Bronze at best

I’m the skinniest I’ve been in several years, but it’s not enough to prevent this from happening. Always had body image issues. The toll it takes on me as I get older is worse.

Don’t care it’s covering his face. Not peeling

So, yeah. I’m really not feeling it lately. When that happens, I like to overanalyze every aspect of my life and cut myself out of the world.

I’m not a warrior right now

It’s something I always break out of, but the question is how long it will take this time.  Tough to say. This could be my last post for a while, depending on how motivated I am and whatnot.

This wasn’t peeled. It’s embossed and they come like this

Plus we have our vacation coming up.  If nothing else does it, that certainly should. Getting into a different environment and unplugging a bit will be great.

Back to coating

Anyway, I’m sorry about the mini rant, and apologize in advance for the larger rant that I have to get out there sometime in the future.  Although, maybe it’s more interesting than commenting on how Finest has evolved over the years like this was originally slated to be.

No coating put on these from here on out.

Sometimes life throws curveballs at you and it takes most of the day to work up enough mental stamina to get a couple hundred words written on a post that already has pictures uploaded to it from last week. If you stare at the computer long enough, you think it will write itself from your brain, but it never actually happens.

Refractor version. Shiny doesn’t always make me happy.

So, today was rough. Yesterday was rough. Tomorrow will probably be no better.  Still, no matter what I will eventually be fine.  Probably not great. But fine.

3 comments to It’s Fine

  • Brett Alan

    Hey, rant away, man. Hope it helps.

  • There are a lot of bloggers battling depression. It’s almost like a support group. Not a bad thing to have. I wish I could say something to fix it. But I have not found anything to fix it for me in over 20 years, so…

    I would suggest doing something different. Go to a car show, or an event that does not interest you. When you get done, at an event you don’t enjoy, you’ll be reinvigorated for what you do enjoy.

  • sanjosefuji

    Sorry to hear about this rough patch. It seems like 2019 has been a tough year for a lot of us. Hope things get better sooner than later. And if you need to take a break, I say go for it. We’ll be here for you when you get back.

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