Spinning Junk Into Gold

A little while back I posted a Free Junk post in which I gave away some sets and team sets I had recently accidentally acquired and which I (nor my girlfriend) had no interest in having in my apartment. I got a pretty decent response, especially considering the sets were maybe half a step above a few packs of ’89 Topps. I think because no one actually bothered to buy the ’89 Debut or ’88/’90 Score Traded sets, it was an easy way for people to get some cards they missed out on and didn’t want to bother paying for. For the most part, I gave the cards away for the cost of shipping or for a place on an “I Owe This Guy Cards” list. My wantlist is kind of specific, so I understand that not everyone has something for me at a given time. It’d be a lot easier if I collected Royals and Cubs base/inserts but, since my apartment is already overrun by my collections, “easier” is a relative term.

At any rate, Tom from Angels, In Order (who is now totally screwed because he has to collect Pujols cards… sorry, dude) sent over a handful of wants from my ’79 Topps list in exchange for (you guessed it) the Angels from the sets.

Guy with a funny name who Ron Santo says cheated and that guy who was on Seinfeld then fell asleep in the broadcasting booth.

Not bad! Apart from these two semistars there were a few more I needed. When I started putting together my 1979 Topps set, I was crazy enough to penny sleeve every single card. I don’t know why I did that but now I feel like I have to keep it up so these went into penny sleeve and into boxes. Silly, I know, but could I really put a ’79 George Brett in a box with no protection at all? Probably. But I didn’t.

Apart from the ’79s, reader Don mentioned he might have a Stadium Club insert for me. “Cool,” I thought- one Stadium Club insert I need for the ’88 Score Traded set less the Biggio and the Griffey sounded like a totally square deal to me, so I packed it up and sent it on its way, looking forward to the insert. Oh, look! Here it is!

There's a Frank Thomas on the back of this card but don't tell Jon because this is mine.

Thanks Don. Boy, that sure was a good trade. Cross that Sandberg/Thomas off my list…

David "Nieds" to pitch better to stay in the majors. AmIRight? Too soon?

Hey, wait a minute. Is that another insert from the Rockies/Marlins-happy 1993 Stadium Club that I needed? Wow, that’s really awesome. I’m definitely in the black on this trade.

Some Canadian kids were super bummed that this guy came over instead of Andres Gallarraga.

Whoa, wait. Is that a 1st Day Issue? Awesome! At one per box, I need a metric assload of these. Thanks for the bonus, Don!

The fronts of these cards look so much like the Golden Rainbow variations that I want to rip them all to shreds.

Okay, wait a minute. A Dugout Dirt insert?

Okay, can we all admit that his 3,000 hits are the only thing putting Dave Winfield in the HOF? Someone argue with me about this.

OH NO ANOTHER ONE. This is what the backs of these look like. Some are ridiculous, but this one is both ridiculous and totally kickass. I love the inclusion of the dead bird- real baseball nerdery going on here. Man, it’s a good thing Don didn’t include a bunch more stuff in this package or else I’d start to feel guil-

1994 Bowman was pretty sweet-looking. Someone tell me who the big RCs are in it. Not ARod, right?

Little did we know then that Larry Walker liked to crunch on some Doritos and donuts, AmIRight? No? Too late?

OH SWEET LORD THIS IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE. Don has officially out-traded me and there’s nothing I can do about it. I haven’t even opened a box of 1995 Stadium Club yet and he sent this insert and a few Virtual Reality parallels. Luckily, the bleeding has stopped. I mean, it’s just a few cards for that almost totally complete set, so there’s no reason for me to-

Hard to say anything bad or even funny about Paul Molitor. Great player and seemed like a good dude. AmIRight?

Now, here we go! Bo knows Golden Rainbows? Bo knows stupid parallels that I have to collect because I'm an idiot? Ugh. I'll stick with my funny filename for this card: 1994SCGoldenRainBO.jpg is pretty funny, right? AmIRight.jpg?

Well, I give up. He sent no fewer than 40 Golden Rainbow parallels, all of which but one were on my (heretofore uncreated) needs list. This is really embarrassing by this point. Don has given me cards of actual value (GOLD, PEOPLE!) for my junk set that I didn’t even mean to buy and then took the only two good cards out of. I am officially the worst trader ever. Thanks Don, for all the great cards that I needed. I am in your debt. I’ll leave everyone on a more positive note:

Wish this dude had a fauxhawk.

“And what’s so positive about this, Andy?” you may be asking yourself (which is weird because you said my name to yourself). “Jayhawk Owens only made it into 140 games in the majors before being let go by the Rockies in 1996. That’s kind of sad because I’m sure he had dreams of playing in the Majors and being a World Series hero like I did growing up.” This is true. But it is also true that if a guy named JAYHAWK flippin OWENS didn’t make it in the Bigs, what chance did you really have? None. The answer is none. You are absolved of all guilt. Thank you Jayhawk. Thank you.

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